My dear comrades in passenger service, i am as solidly behind you as I was on Friday, in the traffic queues occasioned by your righteous strike.
We South African consumers are accustomed to a certain level of service, involving long waits, being kept in the dark, service levels that understandbly differ from the Western concept of service excellence, digging deep into shallow pockets etc. All of this has kept us interested and entertained for as long as I can remember and also shaped us into a hardy breed of patient consumers. The organisation against which you are protesting is now threatening the very foundations of our consumer culture and idyllic lifestyle with such foreign concepts as prompt service and reasonable rates.
There is however, a far more sinister aspect to this,which I believe my comrades have cottoned onto with laser-like insight and understanding. Consider this, my fellow South Africans. The administrative and management component of this organisation exists largely in cyberspace. Is this not perhaps behaviour more befitting a shadowy organisation such as the Illuminati? I merely ask.
The very name of this shadowy organisation calls to mind the title of a certain country’s national anthem. I must be very careful to avoid international lawsuits and will refrain from using names but you, the intelligent reader, will quickly grasp the subtle hints that I will deposit like discarded litter in the streets of downtown Joburg. Does ‘Deutschland Uber Alles’ ring any bells? For those of you who failed history at school (eurocentric, colonial history to be sure), please use Google. During my lengthy investigation into this organisation, using taxi rides to nightclubs and bars as a cover, I have unearthed several things for you, dear reader, to consider and draw your own conclusions. Not least among them is the fact that names such as Mannfred, Joachim and Hans appeared several times among the drivers I rode with. Most of the vehicles originate from a country which, together with the one I have hinted at above, once posed great peril to the entire world. Is it possible that we are now witnessing yet another attempt to conquer the world, by other means, and using our own beloved country as a launchpad? Before you call me paranoid, please remember that Winston Churchill’s was a lone voice long before the danger became readily apparent.
I have tried to trip up drivers by suddenly shouting out phrases such as ‘Hande Hoch’ and ‘Raus’ but they are either innocent dupes or their training is excellent. Could there be a Spesnatz type training camp under our very noses, perhaps in the Karoo or Bronkhorstspruit?
As we weaken under the assault of unaccustomed courtesy, affordable rides, ability to track driver whereabouts and estimated arrival times, we run the risk of becoming a nation of consumers that expects trains to run on time and civil servants to actually serve. Who knows where all this my lead. Demands to pay back the money? Riots in the streets. We may be witnessing the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it. Our very way of life is under attack.
This is essentially why I support my gallant comrades in their strike. There are those who would carp about the impact on our economy but our shortest serving finance minister (a much misunderstood and undervalued man) pointed out that we deal in rands and should therefore not fear currency fluctations elsewhere. Or something like that. I am still working out the full import of his brilliant and complex argument. Of course, we could always revert to the time honoured system of barter, so suited to our own part of the world. I know that cattle and goats are awkward but which South African could resist a deal involving chops and steaks?
My investigations into this organisation are at an early stage and I still have many bars and nightclubs to visit. I am fully aware that a grateful and generous government will want to reward me handsomely for the work done thus far, our own national security service having failed to catch even the blindingly obvious clues mentioned earlier. I wish to avoid the fuss that comes with awarding of medals so would be content with an abode along the lines of the one in KZN (not as grand, of course - a chicken run would suffice instead of a kraal), complete with a smaller version of the firepool, as a precaution against the inevitable arson attacks sure to follow this article.
My comrades, the struggle continues.
Yours in the preservation of the South African way of life.
richard
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
Capitec Bank, South Africa
1378565477
O Tichmann
+27 833970723
https://www.amazon.com/Richard--J-Mann/e/B085P3QPMH?ref_=pe_1724030_132998060
No comments:
Post a Comment