I am unshakeably optimistic about the rainbow nation. Like the ANC, I constantly seek good news stories. My admiration for that natural leader and strategist, Hlaudi Motsoeneng, knows no bounds,as he manfully confronts the dark (or is it pale) forces that would insist that mere facts get in the way of a good story. Our very own Horatio at the bridge. That is why, when I recently heard yet another negative comment about the Johannesburg minibus taxi industry, I immediately sprang to their defence, injuring my left ankle.
The Joburg taxi industry has in abundance those qualities that make organisations truly great. I am flabbergasted that Peters and Waterman did not include them in their otherwise superb work ‘In Search of Excellence’ (probably to do with Eurocentric tendencies).
Consistency is one of the hallmarks of the Joburg taxi industry. Every Monday, week in and week out, thoughout the year, thousands of commuters wait for hours in queues at the MTN taxi rank. This level of consistency of service is rare indeed. Such foreign concepts as planning and improvisation are sternly resisted. Bourgeois, capitalist notions such as punctuality and economic impact leave these men of steel unmoved (and the queues unmoving). Well done chaps. Long may you keep those queues firmly in their places.
Our taxi people are giants in the realm of innovation. Where others see only yellow lines and obstacles, they see and seize opportunity. Those underused emergency lanes, intersections and traffic islands are now being fully and efficiently used. As they push the boundaries (and sometimes other vehicles), our heroic drivers make that German racing driver look like a nervous learner. Many other drivers, shackled by archaic traffic laws and their own lack of imagination, glare, fume and curse. Pioneers in every field will always have their detractors. It is heartening to see that some Joburg drivers have begun to emulate our heroes of the highway, as they boldly go where even Captain Kirk would hesitate to venture. To those companies struggling to cultivate a culture of innovation I say: “Look to the taxi driver, thou sluggard, and be wise” (a phrase I coined during a particularly inspiring taxi trip to Fourways).
Many companies would gladly sacrifice an accountant or two upon the altar if they could initiate and maintain a culture that all employees embrace. Taxi drivers are almost without exception gruff, surly and taciturn. Those are their nicer qualities. It is an admirable thing to see the organisational culture lived out so consistently. I have heard a taxi driver ask a passenger to leave the taxi because he had the temerity to pay with a R200 note. “Where”, he asked reasonably. “do you expect me to get change so early in the morning?” “How about from the previous day’s trips or the whole darn year’s trips,” you may be tempted to ask. Please resist that temptation. That is the kind of middle class thinking that ultimately leads to many things that our leaders wisely warn against.
The strategic and tactical skills of these admirals of industry would make the executives at Google sallivate. Despite ignoring every tenet and principle of customer service, the taxi industry survives, nay thrives. You may be thinking that this is because the commuters don’t have the choice of voting with their feet. Again, that sort of capitalist running-dog thinking is dangerous and is just a step away from third force activities, if left unchecked. Taxi drivers must eat and taxi bosses also need a shot at nibbling sushi (or at least ox tripe) off the bodies of nubile models. This is a basic right enshrined …..somewhere. I must confess that, in my weaker moments, I have thought that the city could make a fortune by simply laying on reliable transport to the work areas. I deal with these counter revolutionarly impulses by repetitively chantinig to myself such inspirational slogans as ‘An injury to one is a perfidious assault upon the entire working class’, ‘A hungry man is an angry man’, ‘No woman no cry’ (sorry, ignore the last one). So how do they do it, you ask in wonder. This is not KZN, so I do not think that gifts of sleek oxen are involved. (Incidentally, I wrote to the minister involved back then, suggesting that we get together over an ox braai to discuss transport issues of national importance but I think that he had already returned or refused the oxen. Churlish behavour from one entrusted with such great responsibility). So how do they do it, you ask again. It can only be charisma and sublime strategic skills.
Finally, I wish to dispel the myth that all taxi drivers are insensitive souls. I recall an afternoon when our taxi stalled on a steep road enroute to the city. We disembarked and blithely strolled up the hill while our gallant driver coaxed his reluctant machine to the top. A lady complained afterwards. The driver responded in genuine, hurt puzzlement: “But how can I be to blame if the vehicle is giving trouble?” Indeed, chap, indeed. How unreasonable to blame you for transporting people in a clapped out piece of junk that even Cash for Scrap would snigger at. To that unreasonable lady I would say: “For R15 you expect a Maserati?” More recently, another lady complained after our fifth near miss in as many kilometres. The driver invited her to leave the vehicle if she thought he was driving badly. One could almost hear the wounded child within. After all, how could he possibly be blamed for the atrocious driving of those five reckless motorists. It must be a nightmare out there for the sensitive taxi driver. Who says that these men are not in touch with their feminine side?
I could tell you also how our caring taxi industry strives to entertain and surprise its happy customers (Take that Disneyland!). On one occasion, we were treated to a free sauna (something I’ve always desired), three times as our taxi overheated. The last one was a gusher that bathed the inside and outside of the taxi in clouds of invigorating, aromatic steam. An ungrateful passenger exited the taxi through a side window with the speed and nimbleness of a Sugar Ray Leonard in his boxing prime, all the while hurling unkind but very imaginative suggestions at the driver. None of those can be repeated here. On another occasion, a door fell clean off the taxi before our surprised and delighted eyes. Dear reader, I could tell you much more but I believe that the case has been made and you now see the Joburg taxi industry in a softer, rosier light.
Please join me in lifting a glass as we toast those magnificent men in their flying machines.
Tips for the blogger gratefully accepted
Capitec Bank, South Africa
1378565477
O Tichmann
+27 833970723
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