Dear Mr Trump
Shocking, outrageous, barbaric! How dare that Iranian MP offer a reward of three million for your head.
Why, sir, your hair alone is worth more than that. I would summon their ambassador right away. Ah, but then there probably isn’t one in the US. No problem. I would grab any likely looking Iranian off the sidewalk, have him on the (Persian) carpet and tell him what I think of that insolently cheap offer. Also the horrific notion of assassinating citizens of a foreign country. I am sure that the message would get back. You know the Iranians. I would reserve that poetic bit about raining down hellfire for a more appropriate moment and audience. After all, timing is everything in politics and in showbiz (same thing, essentially).
Sir, equally insulting is that the offer was made by a mere MP. One might have been less outraged had he been, at least, a cabinet minister. Not saying that one would approve. We are not talking about the head of some sh…le country here. Leader of the free world and a Jedi of the Twittersphere to boot. I look forward to your firing off a brace of fiery tweets soon (please be very mindful of which keys you are hitting).
Mr Trump, until they come up with a price worthy of your standing in the political and financial worlds, i would cut off all further communication with them.
I would also ensure that Iran has no access to Disney movies, KFC or any of the other essentials that your great nation delivers to a grateful (with the exception of Iran) world. See how they get along without those!
I would also ensure that Iran has no access to Disney movies, KFC or any of the other essentials that your great nation delivers to a grateful (with the exception of Iran) world. See how they get along without those!
Yours in the struggle for due respect.
Richard
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