Saturday, 23 May 2020

First Appeal

First Appeal
Tuesday, March 17th, 2020
To the ten blog readers out there 
I know that this blog probably helps you sleep on insomnia nights. 
I have a book published on Kindle, that does the same job - faster. It’s called The Scuffle Continues. It costs about the same as what I’m told a JMPD (municipal traffic officers) facilitation fee costs, just four US dollars. Of course, I don’t believe that stuff about our City’s Finest. 
The book is excellent as a missile when someone annoys you. Also as a placemat. Oh, and you can read it too.My mugshot is perfect for scaring the kids into obedience. Oops, sorry. I forgot it’s electronic. You could throw your android.
If you buy my book, one or more of the following will happen to you within the next 4 565 days:
You will receive good news via Facebook and / or Twitter.
You will receive a promotion at work or somewhere else.
A tall, dark, handsome stranger will sweep you off your feet - probably a streetsweeper. It could also be a short, sallow-complexioned person, but hey, we can’t have it all all the  time, can we? (Unless you’re a VBS preferred customer or connected to our generous ruling elite).
You will win the lotto, sportstake and fahfee.
An invitation to China will arrive in the post.
Your immune system will resist the Corona virus, ebola and athlete’s foot.
I will graduate from magwinyas (Joburg’s oil-rich answer to the bagel) to toasted sandwiches.
I can assure you that at least one of the above is true.
This is my first gentle appeal. The second will have a delightful personal touch. Some very polite, stylishly dressed young men with Bronx/ Brooklyn/ Italian accents will pop in for tea. My friend, the Don, tells me that this business approach is generally well received and many customers are dead happy with it.
The first 10 000 readers to buy the book can join me for a refreshing libation at the Saxonworld Shebeen. Please bring proof of purchase, proof of residence, an affidavit of some sort and a testimonial from a trusted source (ruling out politicians and lawyers) or your parole officer.
So, in the words of Clint, please make my day.
Yours in the struggle to sell at least one damned copy.
Richard

No comments:

Post a Comment